THE SLUT QUIZ
Does anyone ever notice how girls jokingly call each other sluts nowdays? (i.e., "Hey, slut! What's up). Well since this word gets thrown around so much I thought that I should point out that there are some REAL sluts out there that wouldn't appreciate their moral ambiguity thought of so lightly. Therefore, I have written and formed a SLUT QUIZ to determine if you really are a slut or not. This is just like a quiz in Cosmo. If you answer YES to any of the statements below give yourself 1 POINT. At the end, total your points to determine how much of a dirty, nasty, semen receptical you really are.
The grading is as follows:
1 - 10 points : Go back to church, bitch.
11 - 20 points : You just drink too much.
Does anyone ever notice how girls jokingly call each other sluts nowdays? (i.e., "Hey, slut! What's up). Well since this word gets thrown around so much I thought that I should point out that there are some REAL sluts out there that wouldn't appreciate their moral ambiguity thought of so lightly. Therefore, I have written and formed a SLUT QUIZ to determine if you really are a slut or not. This is just like a quiz in Cosmo. If you answer YES to any of the statements below give yourself 1 POINT. At the end, total your points to determine how much of a dirty, nasty, semen receptical you really are.
The grading is as follows:
1 - 10 points : Go back to church, bitch.
11 - 20 points : You just drink too much.
21 - 35 points : You are a dirty whore.
36 - 50 points: You have herpes.
1. You might be a slut if you have to write down who you sleep with just so you can keep a record.
2. You might be a slut if you were to get preggers and have your friends pool on who the father is.
3. You might be a slut if you ever had sex with someone you picked up at Sassy Ann's. (or insert any trashy bar name)
4. You might be a slut if you ever had sex AT Sassy Ann's.
5. You might be a slut if you actually enjoy anal sex. ("it's not that bad after a while, guys"...yeah right, slut)
6. You might be a slut if you keep a large variety of condoms on the coffee table to offer your guest instead of candy.
7. You might be a slut if you have slept with three guys who have the same first name.
8. You might be a slut if you slept with three guys in one week.
9. You are a slut if you slept with three guys in one day...or if you think this is awesome.
10. You might be a slut if you and all your friends "share" at least one partner.
11. You might be a slut if you act at a crowded bar the same way little kids act when they see the ice cream truck.
12. You might be a slut if you plan on a divorce before you are planning on marriage.
13. You might be a slut if you have two boyfriends at once who don't know about each other and debate taking on a third. Sluts have special CIA-type skills for this.
14. You might be a slut when your roomate no longer ask the random guys at your place who they are.
15. You might be a slut if you use tallies to record sexual partners, and then put it on the living room wall for all to see.
16. You might be a slut if you associate with people that do this.
17. You might be a slut if you think it's funny when your friend gets a curable STD.
18. You might be a slut if alcohol is the only lubricant you ever need.
19. You might be a slut if you went to an officially ranked Party School.
20. You might be a slut if most of your friends are sluts. Sluts love each other.
21. You might be a slut when all it takes it a shot and some late night Krystal's for a guy to get some.
22. You might be a slut if you have made out with more people in a bar than in private.
23. You might be a slut if you don't just have one night stands, but you also have two-hour stands.
24. You might be a slut if you know what it means to get DP'd.
25. You might be a slut if you question whether or not one of your experiences was a foursome or a gang bang.
26. You might be a slut if you were doing it and called the guy the wrong name because you were legitimately confused and not because you were just thinking of someone else (the latter part is a very nonslut thing to do).
27. You might be a slut if you move 500 miles away you still run into people you slept with.
28. You might be a slut if you carry an overnight bag with you whenever you go out, just in case.
29. You might be a slut if you ever waited in line to give someone a lap dance.
30. You might be a slut if you mom or dad was a slut. Sluttery is in the blood.
31. You might be a slut if you lost your virginity at church camp.
32. You might be a slut if your boobs fall out of your shirt/dress...and you don't care.
33. You might be a slut if the rules to golf sound like your Satruday nights.
34. You might be a slut when you try to make your non-slut friends committ slut-like behavior.
35. You might be a slut when your favorite character on "Sex and the City" is Samantha. And you have her picture framed somewhere.
36. You might be a slut if you and your friends keep a jar of extra change and call it the "abortion emergency fund."
37. You might be slut if you aren't allowed to give blood for a year due to your sexual history.
38. You might be a slut if your most notorious dating story involves getting a money shot right to the face.
39. You might be a slut if you seriously cut off communication with a guy because of an unfortunate penis size.
40. You might be a slut if you don't refer to it as the Walk of Shame but the Stride of Pride.
41. You might be a slut when you don't have to make your bed all weekend because you haven't been home.
42. You might be a slut if you no longer read Cosmo magazine because you decided you already know all "365 ways to please a man."
43. You might be a slut if you not only forget people's names, but you forget the entire person
44. You might be a slut if your idea of fun on a weeknight is getting all your friends together, turning off the lights, and watching the pornographic film "Pirates." (no, I didn't make this up).
36 - 50 points: You have herpes.
1. You might be a slut if you have to write down who you sleep with just so you can keep a record.
2. You might be a slut if you were to get preggers and have your friends pool on who the father is.
3. You might be a slut if you ever had sex with someone you picked up at Sassy Ann's. (or insert any trashy bar name)
4. You might be a slut if you ever had sex AT Sassy Ann's.
5. You might be a slut if you actually enjoy anal sex. ("it's not that bad after a while, guys"...yeah right, slut)
6. You might be a slut if you keep a large variety of condoms on the coffee table to offer your guest instead of candy.
7. You might be a slut if you have slept with three guys who have the same first name.
8. You might be a slut if you slept with three guys in one week.
9. You are a slut if you slept with three guys in one day...or if you think this is awesome.
10. You might be a slut if you and all your friends "share" at least one partner.
11. You might be a slut if you act at a crowded bar the same way little kids act when they see the ice cream truck.
12. You might be a slut if you plan on a divorce before you are planning on marriage.
13. You might be a slut if you have two boyfriends at once who don't know about each other and debate taking on a third. Sluts have special CIA-type skills for this.
14. You might be a slut when your roomate no longer ask the random guys at your place who they are.
15. You might be a slut if you use tallies to record sexual partners, and then put it on the living room wall for all to see.
16. You might be a slut if you associate with people that do this.
17. You might be a slut if you think it's funny when your friend gets a curable STD.
18. You might be a slut if alcohol is the only lubricant you ever need.
19. You might be a slut if you went to an officially ranked Party School.
20. You might be a slut if most of your friends are sluts. Sluts love each other.
21. You might be a slut when all it takes it a shot and some late night Krystal's for a guy to get some.
22. You might be a slut if you have made out with more people in a bar than in private.
23. You might be a slut if you don't just have one night stands, but you also have two-hour stands.
24. You might be a slut if you know what it means to get DP'd.
25. You might be a slut if you question whether or not one of your experiences was a foursome or a gang bang.
26. You might be a slut if you were doing it and called the guy the wrong name because you were legitimately confused and not because you were just thinking of someone else (the latter part is a very nonslut thing to do).
27. You might be a slut if you move 500 miles away you still run into people you slept with.
28. You might be a slut if you carry an overnight bag with you whenever you go out, just in case.
29. You might be a slut if you ever waited in line to give someone a lap dance.
30. You might be a slut if you mom or dad was a slut. Sluttery is in the blood.
31. You might be a slut if you lost your virginity at church camp.
32. You might be a slut if your boobs fall out of your shirt/dress...and you don't care.
33. You might be a slut if the rules to golf sound like your Satruday nights.
34. You might be a slut when you try to make your non-slut friends committ slut-like behavior.
35. You might be a slut when your favorite character on "Sex and the City" is Samantha. And you have her picture framed somewhere.
36. You might be a slut if you and your friends keep a jar of extra change and call it the "abortion emergency fund."
37. You might be slut if you aren't allowed to give blood for a year due to your sexual history.
38. You might be a slut if your most notorious dating story involves getting a money shot right to the face.
39. You might be a slut if you seriously cut off communication with a guy because of an unfortunate penis size.
40. You might be a slut if you don't refer to it as the Walk of Shame but the Stride of Pride.
41. You might be a slut when you don't have to make your bed all weekend because you haven't been home.
42. You might be a slut if you no longer read Cosmo magazine because you decided you already know all "365 ways to please a man."
43. You might be a slut if you not only forget people's names, but you forget the entire person
44. You might be a slut if your idea of fun on a weeknight is getting all your friends together, turning off the lights, and watching the pornographic film "Pirates." (no, I didn't make this up).
45. You might be a slut if reading this list turns you on.
46. You might be a slut if your first date involves a morning trip to the drugstore for a Morning After Pill.
47. You might be a slut if your friends have sword fights with dildos.
48.You might be a slut if you have seen a porn featuring a young lady with lightening bolts pointing toward her genetalia.
49. You might be a slut if you are truly upset and/or ashamed that you only ranked in the "dirty whore" category and didn't make it all the way to "you have herpes."
50. You might be a slut if nothing mentioned here offends you.
I only got like 7 or 8. See I am not a slut haha.
ReplyDeleteBut I feel like one question was directed at me. For the record. THEY ARE JUST BOOBS!
Also love the gang bang question. I am just sad I can no longer get into my iTunes account.
I got an 11 plus or minus 10. I feel better about myself already. you slut.
ReplyDeleteYeah apparently my score inst as high as I thought it would be.
ReplyDeleteAnytime I feel down about being immoral and promiscuous I can always
count on this quiz to make me realize there are bigger whores in the
world. Thanks TCH you are a wonderful friend!
I got a 48. Fuck.
ReplyDeleteI got 50 so... Ya I'm a lot of a slut
Delete#13 is me. lol
ReplyDeleteTwenty six, potentially twenty seven pending the response to my overnight bag question.
ReplyDeleteYou might be a slut if "Wait, I thought you were gay" is uttered mid-makeout.
Number 17 almost made me pee my pants.
ReplyDeleteI got 2 points for number 19.
I am very proud of number 44. Pirates was the best movie I have ever seen and it brought us all together in a deeply bonding situation. Deeply.
I guess I need to go back to church then!!
ReplyDeleteI am still only at 8...
ReplyDeleteSo I went to this play thing last night. When you walked in there was a piece of paper and said write a seductive txt message and they used some of them in the play.
My favorite one was "Baby, as long as I have a face...you have a place to sit." It reminded me of this.
I got a 35 but mostly because I hang out with sluts who contribute to my behavior.
ReplyDeleteCan we please not talk about sitting on faces?
ReplyDeleteYou might be a slut when your special time of the month comes around you want to throw a "I'm not pregnant party"
ReplyDeleteYou might be a slut if you have a keg party to fund your abortion.
ReplyDeleteI don't think having an abortion emergency fund is a slut thing. I think it's a smart thing. Dave Ramsey even wrote about it. I think...
ReplyDeleteYou might be a slut when you pray that "it's just syphilis."
ReplyDeleteI guess that goes along with praying that you don't have anything that starts with H?
ReplyDeleteI officially have herpes. Damn
ReplyDelete